Welcome to the DJ Brap Page

DJ Brap - Singer, Songwriter, Poet, Rapper, Philosopher, Choreographer, Fashion Icon and Guru of 'Brap Enlightenment' (the expansion of consciousness through flatulence). Hear his music, listen carefully to his lyrics, copy his dance routines and join with him in his world of Brapness...

Some of his Music:

Get off my Bus

Possibly the best and most suitable song about buses in Malta never featured at Eurovision.


Mediterranean Dining Pants (Featuring Sacred Wind)

DJ Brap's iconic song about pants worn when dining in the Mediterranean. DJ Brap profoundly expresses his love of this supremely important and almost spiritual piece of holiday clothing, and how you can dance with the pants. Warning: contains no towels but does contain some lyrics in German.


The Raps So Far:

Pete's Rap

Yeah, I know Pete and he’s real neat
He writes lots of books, but not with his feet
He loves to eat and his favourite pie is meat… and potato
Hey, I know Pete and he’s not downbeat
He always completes his spreadsheets
But sometimes he lives life by the seat… of his pants

Yeah, I know Pete, he’s not incomplete
He’s got all his marbles and he has a receipt
He likes to compete but he’d never cheat… at Scrabble
Hey, I know Pete, he likes a good drumbeat
But I don’t know if he sniffs concrete
But he loves to dress up for trick or treat… as a zombie

Yeah, I know Pete and he can be offbeat
He’s no athlete but he ain’t petite
And he’s very discreet with his wholewheat… crackers
Hey, I now Pete and he’d never mistreat
A Parakeet or birds that go tweet, tweet
And you might meet him on Main Street… in Runcorn


Joe's Rap

Yeah, I know Joe and he’s not slow
He’s always on the go, running to and fro
He likes to play in the snow wearing dayglo… pants.
Hey, I know Joe, he should be on a gameshow
Winning lots of dough, so he can go to Montreux.
And sing a little song that begins with doe… a deer a female deer

Yeh, I know Joe he likes to do the tango
He’s real macho and has a thing for Velcro
He loves to disco and treat his skin with with Aloe… Vera
Hey, I know Joe but I don’t know
If he can play the banjo when he’s doing limbo
He might read Plato while he’s eating his coco… pops

Yeah, I know Joe, he ain’t no weirdo
He can be a bit wacko but he’s no bozo
He loves animals like the hippo… potamus
Hey I know Joe, he puts on a great show
He lives in a bungalow and he loves gizmos
Yeah, he’s my bro and he’s a real homo… sapien


Andy's Rap

Yeah, I know Andy and he’s not bandy
But he can get randy when he goes to Tonypandy
And he loves comics like The Dandy… and The Beano
Hey, I know Andy and he’s real handy
At playing lead guitar when he’s had a pint of shandy
And he likes playing games like Candy… Crush

Yeah, I know Andy, he’s just like Gandhi
He speaks a lot of sense when he’s had a glass of brandy
He likes 10cc and songs like I’m Mandy… fly me
Hey, I know Andy, his hair’s quite sandy
But I don’t know if he has a modus operandi
But he loves kid’s shows like Andy… Pandy

Yeah, I know Andy, he’s just dandy
He loves to smoke cigars and likes a good Grandee
But I don’t think he’s been to Normandy… in France
Hey, I know Andy and he’s real zandy
He used to get excited when he shopped in Tandy
And he’ll never write a song like Shandi… by Kiss


Kurt's Rap

Yeah, I know Kurt and he’s no squirt
He likes to flirt when he wears a dress shirt
And he’s an expert on Roquefort… cheese
Hey, I know Kurt and he’s a real convert
To eating sweets like frozen dessert
His favourite drummer might be Neil Peart… from Rush

Yeah, I know Kurt and he’s not inert
But I know I would feel some disconcert
If he dished the dirt on Bert… from Sesame Street
Hey I know Kurt, he ain’t no pervert
Although I’ve heard he owns a miniskirt
But I’ve never seen him wear an invert… ed cross

Yeah, I know Kurt, he’s no extrovert
He can be covert when he’s in the desert
He stays very alert when he has filbert… nuts
Hey I know Kurt, he likes Schubert
But if he goes to Frankfurt to see a concert
He just may decide to insert… some bass guitar


Tony's Rap

Yeh, I know Tony and he’s no crony
But his stare can be stony when he eats macaroni
And he loves to sing songs like Mony… Mony
Yeh, I know Tony and he can speak baloney
But there’s still truth in his testimony
He likes TV and has a crush on Joanie… from Happy Days

Yeh, I know Tony and he’s not moany
He wears fancy clothes for his ceremonies
He loves to dress up and dance like Boney… M
Hey, I know Tony, he’s no one-trick pony
He can get a tune out of pepperoni
He chills out in his room listening to his Sony… Walkman

Yeh, I know Tony and he’s no phony
He likes lots of singers, but not Christopher Maloney
For his starter he always has minestrone… soup
Hey, I know Tony, he’s not like Berlusconi
He shares football tactics with Diego Simeone
He’s my good friend, but he does have bony…  knees